Men in Church

Sunday at Mass, I happened to notice a lot of men all around our pew. Actually, all around the church they stood out. Why did they stand out all of a sudden, considering that they’re there in similar numbers each Sunday? I don’t know……but the ones all around me were exceptional in the small caretaking gestures they made toward their families here and there, while still paying reverent attention to the priest and the altar. No kidding, and so did I….even though I couldn’t help notice this going on….

There were young Dads calming young children, tucking them under the arm or hoisting them on the shoulder, quietly. And the middle-aged Dad in front of us who slipped in late with his daughter, was asked by the usher to help usher at different points, finished by slipping back in the pew and bowing his head in silent prayer before continuing, while his daughter glanced repeatedly at him, reassured. And the gray-haired gentleman in front of me with his elderly Dad. The gray-haired man was holding the hymnal and singing energetically with the organist and the choir, singing well and full-throated, while two little boys in front of him were peeking backwards from their pew, staring up at him in visibly rapt attention, watching this man of the church give witness to the manly expression of faith.

But…..are they exceptional? The current issue of Crisis Magazine analyzes Catholic manhood in its cover story. It brings the reader up to speed first by reviewing how the Church became ‘feminized’, and then how the tunaround started…

that meant carving out a brave new counterculture in which fathers reclaimed their position as head of the family, planted themselves in the pews alongside their wives and kids, and adopted a “provide and protect” stance in the face of the world’s trials and temptations.

They became a burgeoning ‘movement’ that has spread throughout the country.

Shift from the relatively superficial to the sublime and you have “That Man Is You!,” a program of Houston-based family ministry Paradisus Dei. Its founder, Steve Bollman, has mapped out an ambitious approach to men’s ministry that begins by mining the social and biological sciences in search of a comprehensive vision of gender differences and roles—of what makes a man a man, and why. In so doing, he has discovered what he thinks is the key to male under-representation in the Church—in short, the “pastorally sensitive” approach bores them. “Men respond to a challenge,” Bollman says. “To offer them a ‘soft’ program doesn’t take into account how men work.”

So Bollman set out to provide that challenge—with early morning prayer groups; with demanding “covenants” that call men to be self-sacrificing leaders in their families; and with an intellectually rigorous 68-week program, spread over three years, that unites science, Scripture, theology, and spirituality in a “thinking-man’s quest” for the full truth of what it means to be a man—and a man of God.

Bollman sees his ministry as part of a larger wave. “There’s definitely something going on here,” he says. Throughout the Church, “God is awakening in more men the desire to be real men.” This means making sacrifices, being “willing to pay the price to do the right thing.” In order to make such a sacrifice a man must “draw on all his masculine strength,” Bollman says, and in so doing he steers clear of the two extremes of false manhood that are “deadly to male participation in the Church”: the “wimpish Christianity” that presents neither challenge nor reward, and the machismo that keeps proud men off their knees.

In what is certainly a corollary to Christian manhood’s renaissance in family life and among young men, we have also begun to witness a discernible return to masculinity in our seminaries and, consequently, our parishes. Both Monsignor Swetland and his confrere Msgr. Steven Rohlfs, rector for the Mount, see promising signs in the men coming through their seminary doors today.

For one, they are carrying themselves differently: “They take pride in their masculine attributes,” says Monsignor Swetland. “The last couple generations of priests generally weren’t too concerned about taking care of themselves physically,” but these days “they work out, they play sports, they want to look and dress and act like men.” Also in contrast to their predecessors, they’re interested in pursuing “a distinctly masculine spirituality,” says Monsignor Rohlfs…

The seminaries are growing faster than you know, (you won’t hear it in the media), filling with these types of men.

This didn’t happen by accident, of course. Good seminaries are not simply enjoying a serendipitous influx of manlier applicants; they’re expressly targeting them. In what ought instantly to become the mantra of every rector and vocations director in the country, Monsignor Rohlfs tells how he seeks candidates who “exude a personality of quiet confidence and strength”; who demonstrate “an ability to relate to men and to fathers of families, as well as to children as a spiritual father”; and finally, “a spirituality that brings together the best qualities of a man.”

This describes the seminary my son attended through college, St. John Vianney Seminary in St. Paul, Minnesota. Their motto is: “Men In Christ. Men of the Church. Men for Others.” They are awesome, and they are the future of the priesthood.

The influence is growing exponentially as these men are ordained and impacting their parishes and dioceses. The men around me in church are only representative sample of Catholic manliness….both young and old.

Not only do they want to be spiritual “providers and protectors,” but men will, on average, be drawn more strongly to a religion that provides purchase for their intellects to grasp, distinguish, and, finally, submit to.

In practice, this means a return to teaching hard or “crunchy” doctrine, a return to transcendence, a return to the fullness of Christian mysteries.

The writer of this Crisis Magazine article notes that some common threads ran throughout his research for it, one being this:

Every one of my sources spoke of a battle against the temptations and obstacles the modern world puts before men, a war against the false, cheap version of manhood it whispers in our ears. Again and again they made use of military imagery in defining male spirituality: Bolster and Monsignor Swetland—both former naval lieutenants—stressed the need to adapt the military virtues of discipline, valor, and self-sacrifice to the work of spiritual combat.

I heard this a lot in my son’s four years at Vianney, and in his personal formation to the priesthood since. I heard it in the priests who came on my radio show frequently, like Fr. Dan Mode, Marine chaplain in Afghanistan and author of “Grunt Padre”; Army chaplain Fr. Boland of the first Gulf War; the “Jumping Padre” of the Battle of the Bulge, Archbishop Philip Hannan (formerly Archbishop of New Orleans, who had a sharper memory and vastly superior sense of duty and service than most of us will ever have); Archbisop Edwin O’Brien, former Archbishop of the Military Chaplaincy…

So I leave Mass last Sunday at Ss. Peter and Paul in Naperville and notice the bulletin looks really different. There’s a large photo on the cover of a very noble looking man. He’s Army Chaplain Fr. Emil J. Kapaun, and he’s there as a strong and manly witness. Here’s how the pastor, Fr. Thomas Milota, explains it: (July 29 bulletin available online soon…)

Last Sunday another priest appeared on the front page of the Sun-Times having been put on leave due to allegations of financial misconduct and misuse of parish funds. Unfortunately over the last several wseeks there have been several stories about priests who have been accused of some less than edifying and terrible behavior. It is certainly appropriate that priests be held to a high standard. The Lord has called them to a great vocation and we, priests, should behave according to our state…

Since the news media has done a rigorous job of telling us all about the bad ones, I thought it appropriate that some good ones get fair play. Therefore, over the coming weeks, we will have on the front page of the bulletin exemplary, faithful and heroic priests who have clearly given their lives in service to  God through His people.

In honor of my parochial vicar, Fr. Ryan Larson [who I’ve written about here], and since there is little greater bravery than running around a battlefield without a gun and a little white cross on your forehoead, I thought the first one would be Fr. Emil Kapaun who was an army chaplain in the Korean war. Here is his story…

And there it was, an example of how to be a great and strong man for Christ, for the Church and for others. I’m so glad my younger son was with me at this Mass, surrounded by good men and women….and children attentively watching it all and learning how to emulate quiet faith.